Well another weekend and still waiting and searching for that special invite. Have had a number of chats with other longpigs, most I feel are not real or commited as I am. they chat about unrealistic ideas, the cooking methods etc. Non speak of the desire to hand them self over so completly, that is the rush I am seeking, the total loss of control once I have given myself over. Knowing no way out or back. But seems I may never have that rush, though I continue to seek it.